You've probably seen her face gracing your TV screen and thought, ""Wow, who is that goddess?"" It's Tasya Teles, the Canadian stunner who looks like she stepped off the runway and onto your TV screen. I hope you're ready to shamelessly admire every perfectly sculpted feature and flawless angle of her body.

Half Brazilian Beaut

Runway Ready

But don't worry, she's not all angles and bones. Tasya's got just enough curves in just the right places to keep things interesting. It's like Mother Nature decided to sculpt the perfect hybrid of Victoria's Secret model and high-fashion mannequin.

Maintaining that kind of figure probably involves more kale smoothies and pilates classes than any mere mortal could stomach. But hey, the camera loves her, and so do I.

From Frozen North to Scorching Hot

After graduating, Tasya's jaw-dropping good looks caused citywide chaos. Traffic accidents spiked whenever she walked the dog, and local optometrists reported a mysterious surge in young men claiming they'd ""gone blind from beauty."" Realizing her face was a force to be reckoned with, Tasya decided to inflict it upon Hollywood.

Now, you might assume someone this gorgeous must have the IQ of a particularly dim houseplant. But surprise! Tasya actually studied theater at Concordia University. Of course, we all know she was really majoring in ""Theater Orgies"" with a minor in ""sucking dicks and taking names."" Talk about an overachiever.

Rising to Fame as an Actress

As Tasya's star began to rise, so did the collective blood pressure of fans everywhere. Suddenly, people were tuning in for the chance to see Tasya grace their screens.

But don't be fooled by her ethereal beauty and your baseless optimism. You won't get the chance to touch this bitch, let only slide your rod in. You're better off watching her shows and movies while you cry and fap.

Titties Going ""Rogue""

You thought you'd just be having a relaxing night on the couch watching a new show when suddenly Tasya's terrific tits make their grand entrance leaving you wondering if you accidentally switched to the Anatomy for Artists channel. It looks like your relaxing evening just turned into a night of sweat, lube, and jizz. You better warn your roommate.

You'll find yourself torn between admiring that tight little body of hers and actually following the plot. It's a delicate balancing act. What if someone asks you a question about the show? You don't want people to know you haven't watched a show for the plot in 20 years.

Naughty Girl

Tasya has range. She went from post-apocalyptic warrior to impromptu drug paraphernalia. You've got to admire her willingness to expose herself to new experiences for the sake of art.

This scene isn't exactly going to win any Emmys for subtlety. But you've got to hand it to Tasya for fully committing to the role. I mean, who among us hasn't thought, ""You know what would really spice up these titties? Coming up with a business plan I'll never follow through on."" Don't try this at home. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Stick to admiring Tasya's, um, performance from afar.

""Skin Trade"" for Your Skin Flute

In ""Skin Trade,"" a movie that's about as nuanced as a sledgehammer to the face, Tasya and Dolph engage in some vigorous negotiations. Dolph still looks like he could benchpress a small car at his age. If you guys plan on fucking Tesya anytime soon, you better hit the gym, you pussies.

You're not watching ""Skin Trade"" for its creative exploration of human trafficking. You're here for the gratuitous action and even more gratuitous nudity. And boy, does Tasya deliver on both fronts. Her performance is so magnetic that you might find your remote control suddenly attracted to the rewind button.

Dim the lights, and prepare for a scene that's hotter than Bangkok in August. Try not to play too many jazz solos on your skin flute, or the thing might fall off.

""Rush"" Giving Audiences a Rush

In a display that would make even Sisqo suggest a pair of granny panties, Tasya's posterior takes center stage, stealing the spotlight and the jizz from your balls. It's the kind of scene that makes you wonder if the camera operator forgot to blink or if they were simply hypnotized by the sheer magnificence before them.

This isn't just any old tush we're talking about. Tasya's buns are so perfectly sculpted you'll want to take measurements. They won't be large measurements, but you'll still take them. It's almost criminal how good she looks. She shouldn't be allowed to walk near traffic.

The Nip Slip Heard 'Round the Wasteland

We've all seen movies involving a mutant-infested Earth, angsty glares, and improbable survival scenarios. Tasya's character adds something new by popping out a nipple faster than you can say ""radiation poisoning."" You can call it Echo's clever way of distracting from yet another convoluted plot twist.

This wasn't exactly ""Game of Thrones"" levels of nudity. But for the CW, land of broody vampires and chaste superheroes, it was practically hardcore porn. Hormone-addled men everywhere suddenly developed a keen interest in post-apocalyptic survival strategies. Tasya Teles: actress, warrior queen, and unexpected trendsetter in dystopian fashion.

Who Hit It?

While their on-screen characters may have been fighting for survival, off-screen, Tasya and Sachin were busy surviving the treacherous waters of Hollywood dating. Alas, like many a showmance before them, their relationship eventually went the way of Earth in their TV series - kaput. But hey, at least he got to hit it a few times. I'd trade the world for that opportunity in a heartbeat.

So there you have it, folks - the lowdown on Tasya Teles, aka the living embodiment of ""how is it humanly possible to be that gorgeous?"" Now that you're armed with this vital knowledge about her otherworldly attractiveness, you can impress your penis by beating it with more passion than you ever have before.

• Looks like a runway model
• Shows off her tiny perky tits
• As skinny as a healthy person can get

• Skinny is nice, but I wouldn't mind some larger TNA