You know her as the sultry star of ""China Beach"" and ""Desperate Housewives,"" but Dana Delany's sex appeal goes way beyond the small screen. This Emmy-winning actress has been making hearts race for decades with her fuckable looks and undeniable charisma. Whether she's playing a Vietnam War nurse or a suburban housewife with a naughty secret, Delany brings a sizzling intensity to every role. But don't let her Hollywood charm fool you. This bitch definitely has a dirty mind I want to get inside of with my penis.

Elegant and Penetrable

Delany's facial features are like a masterclass in genetic lottery winning. High cheekbones? Check. Full lips? Double check. A smile that could light up Times Square? You betcha. It's almost unfair how effortlessly beautiful she is, even as she gracefully ages like a fine wine (or a well-preserved mummy, take your pick).

Now, let's address the elephant in the room - or should we say, the curves in the dress? Delany's figure has been turning heads since the '80s, and it shows no signs of stopping. With measurements that would make a tape measure blush, she's living proof that some things really do get better with age. Just don't ask her for her secret - she might tell you it's all kale smoothies and yoga, and where's the fun in that?

Perky Booty

At 68, Delany's backside could easily pass for that of someone half her age. You have to wonder - does she have some kind of Benjamin Button situation going on back there? Whatever her secret, it's working. That perky posterior has been turning heads for decades. This is one GILF no man could turn down.

But don't let the tight tush fool you. Delany isn't just eye candy - she's got the acting chops to back up that back. Still, you can't help but marvel at how she's maintained such an impressive rear view all these years. Maybe she made a deal with the devil? Or perhaps she's just blessed with superior gluteal genetics. Either way, Dana Delany's butt remains one of Hollywood's unsung heroes.

From Pampered Princess to Sultry Starlet

But don't you worry, dear reader - this bookworm was destined for bigger, sexier things. After getting a taste for the limelight in high school plays, Dana high-tailed it to Wesleyan University. There, she traded her goody-two-shoes image for a leather jacket and a rebellious streak.

Fresh-faced and ready to set Tinseltown ablaze, Dana packed her bags for La La Land in 1979. Little did those Hollywood bigwigs know they were about to meet their match in this Connecticut Yankee turned California dream girl. Fasten your seatbelts, folks - Dana Delany's star was about to rise faster than a dude's heart rate at a drive-in movie with their crush.

Breakout Role on ""China Beach""

Sure, Delany's kind hazel eyes and tight body could end wars, but it was her portrayal of a complex, conflicted woman in a war zone that really set her career in place. Whatever it takes to get Dana on screen is fine with me. As McMurphy navigated the chaos of the Vietnam War, you found yourself wishing you could be her patient - even if it meant taking a bullet or two.

The suits at the Emmy Awards couldn't resist Delany's charms either. They handed her not one but two golden statuettes for her performance. Apparently, being irresistibly alluring while covered in fake blood and grime is an award-winning combination. Who knew?

By the time ""China Beach"" wrapped, Delany had firmly established herself as a small-screen siren with serious acting chops. Not bad for a woman who could probably make a full doggy bag look sexy.

""Light Sleeper,"" Heavy Nudity

Let's not beat around the bush. In this scene, Delany bears it all with the nonchalance of someone checking their mail. Her breasts make their grand debut, stealing the spotlight like they're auditioning for their own spinoff series. But the real scene-stealer? Those unapologetic pubes proved that the 90s were truly the decade of ""letting it all hangout.""

While you might be tempted to rewind this scene more times than you'd care to admit, remember that Delany's performance goes beyond mere titillation. Her bold choice to bare all speaks volumes about her commitment to making men horny. It's not just about the nudity - it's about the raw vulnerability she brings to the role. I wanted to jump through the screen and give Dana some of my dick right in the movie theater.

""Exit From Eden,"" Exit From Clothing

Talk about leaving little to the imagination! Our girl Dana went full monty, treating viewers to a smorgasbord of skin that included her perky breasts, shapely derrière, and yes, even a peek at her nether regions. It's like she decided to play strip poker with the wardrobe department and lost spectacularly.

But don't go thinking this was just some cheap thrill. Delany's bold choices in this flick showcased not only her physical assets but also her willingness to push boundaries so guys can beat off to her movies. You've got to admire an actress who can bear it all while keeping her dignity intact - no small feat when you're prancing around in your birthday suit.

Next time you're channel surfing and stumble upon ""Exit to Eden,"" don't be too quick to change the station. You might just catch a glimpse of Dana Delany in all her glory, proving that sometimes, less really is more.

""Live Nude Girls""

Now, before you rush to Amazon Video, let's set the scene. Picture this: a bachelorette party gone wild, five gal pals sharing secrets, and Dana's character deciding clothing is totally optional. It's like ""Sex and the City"" meets ""Girls Gone Wild,"" but with more class and less regret. Dana's posterior performance in this flick proves she's not just a pretty face – she's got back, too. Talk about a rear-ly good role!

""Desperate Housewives""

In a twist that had viewers' jaws dropping faster than property values in a recession, Dana locked lips with none other than Julie Benz. Talk about desperate times calling for desperate measures! This smooch fest wasn't just a ratings grab - it was a masterclass in on-screen chemistry.

So, next time you're channel surfing and stumble upon this particular episode, don't be surprised if you find yourself suddenly very interested in Wisteria Lane's real estate market. After all, who wouldn't want neighbors like these?

So there you have it, folks - the scintillating saga of Dana Delany's sexiness. From ""China Beach"" to ""Desperate Housewives,"" she's been turning heads and raising temperatures for decades. Whether you first crushed on her as a fresh-faced army nurse or as a sultry Wisteria Lane resident, Delany's timeless appeal is undeniable. At this point, we're pretty sure she's found the fountain of youth and is hoarding it all for herself. But hey, as long as she keeps gracing our screens with that megawatt smile and those killer curves, who are we to complain?

• Aging well as a GILF
• Has gone full nude, including bush
• Kissed a woman on ""Desperate Housewives""

• Been a while since she showed off the goods