I got curious recently about whether or not Hailey Bieber had ever done OnlyFans, and well, I kind of fell down a weird-ass celebrity rabbit hole. I can’t say I found exactly the content I was looking for, though I wouldn’t say I was disappointed by the eye candy I found along the way. Truth be told, it’s kind of weird gawking at her and thinking, “Wow, I’ve got a boner over a Baldwin!”

According to Wikipedia, Hailey Rhode Baldwin Bieber is “an American model, socialite, and businesswoman.” Personally, I’d cut the fluff and just sum up her fame by calling her a model with a famous dad and an even more famous husband. That means she was a nepo-baby before she became a pop-star wife, doubling up on her pseudo-celebrity status. She’s smoking hot, too, so I thought she deserved a little writeup today.

A Lesser Baldwin and a Famous Brazilian

Hailey Rhode Baldwin was born in late November 1996, and named after Halley’s Comet. The flying ball of fire hasn’t been seen Earthside since 1910 and won’t return until 2061, but the Hailey we’re talking about today was arguably famous from the moment she was born. Everyone knows her dad’s name in the USA, and her maternal grandfather is a famous Brazilian musician who’s worked with Sinatra, Roberta Flack, and Bjork, just to name a few.

No shit, Grandpa Eumir Deodato even produced some of Kool and the Gang’s greatest hits. The next time you’re snorting coke in the restroom while Ladies’ Night plays on the PA, you can thank the dude for giving us the tune and for giving us Hailey Bieber. He’s also responsible for that ominous orchestral piece that opens Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey while the apes learn to use tools and kill each other.

See what I mean about the weird-ass celebrity rabbit hole? Hailey only lived a brief period totally outside of the public eye, as she started showing up on TV before she even turned 10. She first appeared in 2005’s Livin it: Unusual Suspects with her famous fam, a theme that would recur later; in 2009, she tagged along with Uncle Alec when he hosted Saturday Night Live. She started popping up in music videos as a teenager, cashing in on those good looks by playing the love interest.

Why Does Reddit Hate Hailey Baldwin So Much?

One of the biggest surprises I found when researching for this bio is that Reddit absolutely fucking hates Hailey Bieber. The r/HaileyBieber subreddit has been banned for “lack of moderation,” but there is a thriving r/HaileyBaldwinSnark sub where redditors just shit on her all day long. Imagine the fattest guy you know getting winded while typing, “2 out of 10 facial structure-disgusting,” and then jerking off into an old pair of Dragon Ball Z sweatpants. Mom, can you do some laundry? The basement stinks.

I figured they were just hating so hardcore because Hailey married Justin Bieber in 2018. As a famous dude adored his entire life by both women and notorious sex offenders like Diddy, the Biebs has always gotten a fair amount of undeserved flack from guys who have a harder time getting laid. You know, the whole Reddit demographic. I was totally wrong, though, and blown away when I found out the real reason.

The little info blurb at the top of r/HaileyBaldwinSnark describe the model as “this generation’s most infamous homewrecker/stalker.” They go on to say, “we don’t tolerate mean nepo babies who stalk, lie, and manipulate their way into relationships and fame!” I agree to some extent on the nepo baby thing, but I think Hailey’s sexy enough that I’m glad she’s famous. What’s this about stalking, though?

People form the weirdest parasocial relationships with celebrities they don’t know and will never meet. The weird rumors about stalking and manipulation stem from fans who were emotionally invested in Bieber’s relationship with Selena Gomez, which they dub Jelena. Hailey spent years in the same circles of famous folk as both Justin and Selena, a concept that the friendless hordes of the internet often fail to understand. Instead, they interpret every interaction and appearance together as nefarious.

Some of the Jelena folks insist Hailey has been openly racist and homophobic on Instagram, but strangely, haven’t shared any examples. I guess it’s possible Hailey paid somebody to clean up her reputation on Google, but I spent ten minutes looking for evidence and I couldn’t find shit. I found a few posts of her taking light stands against racism, but not even a screengrab of something nasty she’d posted. I’m calling bullshit.

Ooh, Just Look at Those Lips

Cultural appropriation is frankly too complex of a topic to tackle on a website whose primary purpose is helping you jack off. I thought the glossy brown lips looked hot on Hailey, just like they do on black chicks and other Latinas. She’s lighter skinned than other gals of Brazilian decent, but I’m not going to post a video ranting about it or anything.

Hailey looks good in other colors, too. She’s got over 50 million followers on Instagram, and I don’t think they all clicked the blue button because they like her dad, her husband, or her cool-ass grandpops. Usually when I look up the models I write about, Instagram tells me a bunch of my horny pervert friends follow them. When I looked up HaileyBieber, I saw she was followed by my fellow perverts, my family, and my exes.

I do assume her popularity is related to her semi-wholesome content. She doesn’t post quite as many bikini photos as her contemporaries, and her connection to Biebs and Baldwin give her a more mainstream appeal than chicks who are mainly known for fucking on camera. Still, you can definitely rub one out to her feed.

I know for a fact that some of you are reading this because you’re wondering if Hailey Bieber has ever appeared nude. The answer ain’t as simple as it usually is, because I did find some great naked pictures of Hailey. I’m just not sure any of them are real. A lot of them are obvious fakes made by running her sexier shots through an AI photo undresser, and I couldn’t find an official source for the ones that look like they could be real. She’s a big enough B-lister that I feel like any legit nude appearances would be accompanied by articles like, “What does Stephen Baldwin think about his daughter Hailey posing for OnlyFans?”

I do know that Hailey Bieber has never signed up with the popular amateur porn platform. Between her dad’s money and the vault Biebs is sitting on, she’ll never be in a position where she has to show her tits for money. She’d make a killing if she did, and I’d love to see it, but I just don’t know if I get that vibe from her.

Still, Hailey Bieber will probably be a regular part of my celebrity fantasies for a while. She’s beautiful and ubiquitous enough to pop into my internets even if I ain’t looking for her, but I do appreciate the regular doses she gives us on Instragram. It ain’t quite porn, but it’s good enough for me.

• American celebrity and model
• Daughter of Stephen Baldwin
• Wife of Justin Bieber
• Really fucking cool grandfather
• Massive social media following

• Hasn’t posed fully nude