We all know what a traditional porn star looks like. You and I have seen a shit ton of them over the years. They have a face full of lip filler, mama milkers full of mama milker filler, a booty full of booty filler, and an expression that says, ""fuck me on top of a pile of broken glass.""

Nerdy and Fuckable

However, that's not the only aesthetic a porn star can prosper with. Personally, the lip-injected Barbie doll vibe isn't my preferred genre of porn performer. I much prefer the geeky girl next door. The type of lady I might see walking her dog or out for a morning run.

That's the type of bitch Alex Coal is. She looks just as likely to explain how rocket science works as she does to bend over and show you the inside of her pussy. We can do both simultaneously if it makes you happy, Alex. I can't promise I'll learn anything, though.

Vegas Breeds Porn Stars

After completing high school (does attending Las Vegas High even count as school?) Alex did customer service and office work for a few years. The pay was alright, but it's pricey to live in LV. She certainly wasn't going to get rich working phones and filing spreadsheets.

As with most modern porn stars, Alex got her start as a live cam model. At first, it was a side gig to make some extra spending money, but it was so lucrative she made it a full-time gig.

By 2015 she was dating porn star Micheal Masters, and he was encouraging her to take her career to the next level. Webcamming is just the beginning? You've already put your naked body out there, and there is much more dough to make in hardcore porn.

Mike must have been pretty convincing because Alex shot her first scene after signing with Hussie Models Agency later that year.

Since debuting at twenty-four, Alex has starred in films for all the most respected studios. This includes Zero Tolerance, Naughty America, Pure Taboo, Evil Angel, Twistys, Digital Sin, Blacked, Girlfriends Films, New Sensations, Devil's Films, Mofos, Reality Kings, Nubile, Pure Taboo, Jules Jordan Video, and many more.

Fresh Air

Alex's description gets right to business. If you want to book Alex, you better be able to afford it. If you meet that requirement, contact OC Modeling. If you were wondering, yes, Alex is still a Vegas resident.

Alex doesn't just look nerdy. She is nerdy. Alex is even a board member of APAC (The Adult Performer Advocacy Committee). She's a fucking porn nerd. I guess Alex could still be stupid, but if so, she conceals it well.

I'm sorry, boys. You'll be very sad to know that Alex is not an FSSW (Full-Service Sex Worker). You fucks have zero chance of ever feeling the inside of her gash with your rod and tackle. I take that back. Unless you're the guy that does Alex's post-mortem autopsy, you'll never feel the inside of her gash with your rod and tackle.

Alex has an award-winning personality, but she doesn't define what those awards are. Are they actually for her personality, or are they for her talents with a cock? Personally, I think it's the latter.

Stoic

Finally, Alex wants all her fans to know she's a taken woman. She's been with Mike Masters for many years, and I don't see it ending anytime soon. You'll have to bide your time and hope he dies in a train accident or some shit.

While Alex still calls Las Vegas home, Twitter says she lives in your heart. Specifically the left atrium. I bet she is the only porn star with a fundamental understanding of heart anatomy. Pretty remarkable stuff. But to be honest, Alex isn't in my left atrium. She's in my left testicle stirring up sperm so I can launch another wad.

Alex posts on social media every day. Fortunately, many of those posts are sales announcements. Alex isn't trying to leave you poor and destitute whenever you blow a load to her.

See That Pussy Live

A fan recently spread the rumor that Alex is pregnant. That's the last piece of misinformation Alex wanted to spread around, so she quoted the tweet and assuaged our fears. No, Alex is not preggo. Thank goodness. I suppose all of you pregnant fetishists are a bit disgruntled. You could always ask for a custom video of Alex with a beach ball under her top.

Despite your extensive porn background, I doubt you idiots know what a merkin is, but I bet you've seen one without realizing it. A merkin is a feminine pubic toupee often worn by women with alopecia or chemical burns. They were invented by French hookers hiding STIs and or pubic lice.

While Alex is not known to wear one regularly, she did do one for her role as a sexy Werewolf flicking the bean with a Hitachi Wand. If you want to witness this merkin with your own two eyes, you can purchase the video Many Vids.

There is a recent Tik Tok challenge that Alex enjoys where married ladies with pleasing sex lives explain how they do it. While the example Alex posts on her Facebook brings up some good points, I couldn't help but notice the bitch didn't have a ring on.

This slut is inventing shit and setting the bar too high for us disgusting pervs. I'm not vacuuming the rug, so you'll suck my cock. You'll do the vacuuming while you suck my cock. That's how a relationship with The Porn Dude works.

Carpet Munching

She is one of the freshest faces in porn, and her body is lovely. When combined with Alex Coal, you get a lesbian supergroup qualified to unleash liters of jizz from thousands of men at once. I can't get enough of these two together. It's pure fapping magic.

One of my favorite non-porn video clips of Alex is from a recent sexpo where she met fans, signed autographs, and sold merch. One lucky lady came up and asked Alex to punch and slap her in the face.

Of course, Alex was more than willing to help and ended up slapping and punching this bitch several times. But no matter how viciously Alex beat this cunt, she wanted more.

Alex Coal is one of the sexiest geeks in porn. I feel accomplished after beating my meat to her. I think my mom would approve of me fapping to this cunt.

There isn't much to complain about when it comes to Alex Coal. However, I'd love for her to work with Blacked soon.

Get your eyes on Alex Coal's twat as soon as possible. I hope you have eye drops because you won't be able to blink.

• Sexy nerdy porn bitches
• Willing to slap fans
• One word: Weremerkin

• Needs a better-pinned tweet