There are porn stars, and then there are porn stars. I'm talking about whores that go way above and beyond what most ladies can accomplish in the sack. Those who take porn to a new level of magnitude. Who set new standards. Bitches so fuckable you can't believe you're seeing them in the buff.

Queens of the Hill

Today I'm talking about just such a bitch: Kimmy Granger. Just saying her name aloud gets my Peter stiff. The very thought of her face fills my urethra with a wad. Kimmy Granger has caused more seed to be spilled than the fertile crescent.

Kimmy Granger was born in May of 1995 in the gorgeous and bright city of San Diego, California. In traditional porn star fashion, her parents divorced when she was young. Kimmy's mom was a stripper and erotic model for adult magazines. It turns out that porn is in her DNA.

In the Blood

Kimmy discovered the industry through a friend interested in adult entertainment. It led her to work as a stripper in assorted southern Cali clubs. It was far more profitable than waiting bartending ever could be.

Once stripping had gotten Kimmy used to the idea of being unclothed in front of strangers, it was time to evolve into porn. She was twenty when she filmed her first scene, and Kimmy never looked back. At this point, she has worked for all the best studios, such as Vixen, Jules Jordan, Evil Angel, Mofos, Digital Sin, Girlfriend's Films, New Sensations, and Penthouse.

At five foot one and ninety-nine pounds, Kimmy is petite and slim. Her green eyes and blonde hair match perfectly with her body. Her measurements are 34C-24-34. That's about as fuckable as measurements get.

Kimmy Granger is an animal lover. That seems to be something many porn stars have in common. She also enjoys traveling and taking photographs, even sometimes without her in them. Personally, I prefer the ones that feature her, though.

Not all of Kimmy's skills are concentrated on her baby maker. She can also sing and dance quite well. While I have never heard her sing, I can tell by the way she fucks that Kimmy can dance.

The Wad Wendigo

A clip from her Only Fans account is pinned at the top of her Twitter page. Only Fans continue to be one of the best ways to see your favorite porn stars naked, including Kimmy. If you only subscribe to one Only Fans account, make it this one. Trust me.

I'm watching a clip as we speak where Kimmy puts in serious work riding a stunt cock like it's the last stunt cock on Earth. Spoiler alert: It's far from the last cock she'll ever ride.

One thing that I love about Kimmy Granger's social media is that she posts periodic memes along with regular porn content. Porn stars have a very peculiar sense of humor that only develops in people having sex for money. No one was born with this sense of humor.

The most recent gif she posted conveyed her emotion when watching someone ""eat repercussions on a plate for their own shitty actions."" I must say that I agree with Cummy Kimmy.

Kimmy doesn't just let any old fool into her gash. She has earned a coveted rank amongst porn stars. She gets to choose who she works with and only accepts other masters of the craft.

For evidence, I present her October 17th Twitter post. It includes a picture and a gif of Kimmy after filming a scene. She looks like a hot mess, and cum is pouring out of her baby maker. The caption reads, ""If she doesn't look like this after you dicked her down, then you probably didn't do it right.

Gash Talk

Just because Cummy Kimmy Granger's job is sucking and fucking doesn't mean she doesn't have some serious stuff to say from time to time. As with most porn stars, she has seen some shit and is willing to discuss it.

Kimmy has become such a household name (at least in certain households) that The New York Post did an article about her. If you're wondering, her father was initially stunned when she told him she was in the adult entertainment industry, but now he fully endorses and welcomes it.

Stunned seems to be a strong reaction when the mother of your child is in adult entertainment. Was it stunning, or precisely what anyone with two brain cells to rub together would anticipate? I'll give you a hint: it's the latter. The dude must be dense.

To drive the point home even more, Senora Harris sent Kimmy a Tweet asking her and her father to do an interview for the show ""The Isiah Factor: Uncensored"" on Fox 26 and Fox Soul.

People received Cummy Kimmy's appearance on Holly's podcast with much acclaim. People enjoyed her frankness about the horrible shit she's been through. I think many fellow porn stars connect with it. Listen, I'm all for self-improvement, but don't improve so much that you stop doing porn.

People love messaging Kimmy, and she often retweets what folks say. A random Dana messaged her the other day to let Kimmy know she had a dream that Kimmy broke in and moved into her house.

Free Room and Board

As you scroll through Kimmy's social media, you'll find she posts many more inspiring messages than most porn stars. Shit like, ""This year, I met the most broken version of me, but also the strongest."" Another example is ""Heavy on the self-improvement right now. It's really me v.s me."" And let's not forget, ""I'm so fucking grateful for today. I'm so happy to be alive.""

She also interacts with fans and subscribers more often. When Kimmy's super-fan Satan posted, ""Whatever strippers Kimmy Granger knew, I'm trying to meet them legitimately in a spirit of friendship."" Kimmy retweeted it. I hope he got in contact with one.

I don't know about you, but I need a rest from all this real shit. Kimmy knows how to provide that break with a gif of her twerking booty. She can sit that ass on my face anytime she wants. I'll make her cum hard than any other face she's ever sat on.

Getting Romantic

Kimmy, you can come over and do that anytime you like. You know what the Porn Dude does to pussy, and I know you can't get enough. Plus, you already know about the water pressure on my removable showerhead.

Kimmy Granger is one of the most fuckable whores to ever remove her clothes for the internet. From face to tits and ass to pussy this lady's body is perfect. On top of that, she has a brain between her ears. And let's not forget that she gives excellent brain.

While I enjoy Cummy Kimmy's positive energy, she should post some more nudes to her social media to help balance all the self-help and whatnot.

There is no way you're not erect right now, so head over to Kimmy's Twitter page and get to jerking.

• Kimmy is one of the best to ever do it
• Lots of self-help
• Fan interaction

• Could use more nudes